Ra-ra-two-tee

It just gets better and better!

8/15/09 8:00PM

Sass: "Mommy, what you watching?"

Me: "I'm getting ready to watch 'Ratatouille'."

S: "I wanna watch 'RA-RA-TWO-TEE'".

Me: "Come on...we'll watch 'RA-RA-TWO-TEE' together."

S: "Why is it called that?"

Me: "Because it's named after a dish."

S: "'And the dish ran away with the spoon.' Why did the dish run away with the spoon?"

Me: "I'm not so sure."

S: "I think it's because the dish wanted to kiss the spoon."

Me: "If you say so!"

Does God eat green beans?

Boy, do I have a really smart kid at home. Yeah, all parents say their kids are smart but this little whippersnapper I have at home...I think she's smarter than me. The girl really says the 'darndest things'. A while ago I started documenting everything she says because 1) I don't want to forget them and 2) years from know I want her to know. Here was our recent exchange over dinner the other night:

Sass: "Why are green beans green?"

Me: "Ask God...he made them."

S: "How did he make them?"

Me: "He did just like this *make my hands jumble together* and said 'BOOM! *open hands* Green Beans!'"

S: "Then what did he do?"

Me: "He gave them to Adam and he cooked them up and ate them."

S: "Did God's father eat them?"

*prolonged silence*

Enter my husband, code name Lartakis...

Lartakis: "Go ahead, Mom...I am curious to hear the answer to that."

I shoot a mean look over at him.

Me: "God doesn't have a father."

S: "What about his mother?"

Me: "God doesn't have a mother either."

S: "Well if God doesn't have a mom and dad...then how do you get married with no woman?"

Lartakis looks at me...eyes wide open. I am flabbergasted and at a loss for words. How do you respond to a question like that?

Me: "Oh, just eat your green beans!"

"Mommy...what is a battlefield?"

Sass loves listening to Radio Disney. It's much better than some of the other crap I hear on the radio. I'm at work and I brought her into the office with me. A song comes on the radio and she says, "Mommy...what is a battlefield?"

These are the lyrics to the song she's referring to.

Jordin Sparks - Battlefield Lyrics

Don’t try to explain your mind
I know what’s happening here
One minute, it’s love
And, suddenly, it’s like a battlefield

One word turns into a
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My world’s nothing when you’re gone
I’m out here without a shield - can’t go back, now

Both hands tied behind my back for nothing, oh, no
These times when we climb so fast to fall, again
Why we gotta fall for it, now…

Chorus:
I never meant to start a war
You know, I never wanna hurt you
Don’t even know what we’re fighting for
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like

Now...how do you explain to a very intelligent 3 year old what a battlefield is?

Mister Ninja

Have you ever seen a 5 month old Ninja? No? Well, my son might be the first of its kind.

Imagine you are sitting in a chair holding said Ninja...things are going well. He distracts you with his cuteness. All of a sudden you get this warm feeling. Yes...part of it is a reaction to holding such a fantastic looking kid. But the warmth has instead come from the mile of puke that is now descending down the leg of your freshly laundered Levi's. Ahh...the joys of parenthood.

Warning: Don't hit on his mother. He doesn't like it. Ask Mister Ninja's father what happened when he tried. Those freshly laundered Levis I previously mentioned? Yep...they belong to his father.

You'll never find another Ninja like him.