Does God eat green beans?

Boy, do I have a really smart kid at home. Yeah, all parents say their kids are smart but this little whippersnapper I have at home...I think she's smarter than me. The girl really says the 'darndest things'. A while ago I started documenting everything she says because 1) I don't want to forget them and 2) years from know I want her to know. Here was our recent exchange over dinner the other night:

Sass: "Why are green beans green?"

Me: "Ask God...he made them."

S: "How did he make them?"

Me: "He did just like this *make my hands jumble together* and said 'BOOM! *open hands* Green Beans!'"

S: "Then what did he do?"

Me: "He gave them to Adam and he cooked them up and ate them."

S: "Did God's father eat them?"

*prolonged silence*

Enter my husband, code name Lartakis...

Lartakis: "Go ahead, Mom...I am curious to hear the answer to that."

I shoot a mean look over at him.

Me: "God doesn't have a father."

S: "What about his mother?"

Me: "God doesn't have a mother either."

S: "Well if God doesn't have a mom and dad...then how do you get married with no woman?"

Lartakis looks at me...eyes wide open. I am flabbergasted and at a loss for words. How do you respond to a question like that?

Me: "Oh, just eat your green beans!"

"Mommy...what is a battlefield?"

Sass loves listening to Radio Disney. It's much better than some of the other crap I hear on the radio. I'm at work and I brought her into the office with me. A song comes on the radio and she says, "Mommy...what is a battlefield?"

These are the lyrics to the song she's referring to.

Jordin Sparks - Battlefield Lyrics

Don’t try to explain your mind
I know what’s happening here
One minute, it’s love
And, suddenly, it’s like a battlefield

One word turns into a
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My world’s nothing when you’re gone
I’m out here without a shield - can’t go back, now

Both hands tied behind my back for nothing, oh, no
These times when we climb so fast to fall, again
Why we gotta fall for it, now…

Chorus:
I never meant to start a war
You know, I never wanna hurt you
Don’t even know what we’re fighting for
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like

Now...how do you explain to a very intelligent 3 year old what a battlefield is?

Mister Ninja

Have you ever seen a 5 month old Ninja? No? Well, my son might be the first of its kind.

Imagine you are sitting in a chair holding said Ninja...things are going well. He distracts you with his cuteness. All of a sudden you get this warm feeling. Yes...part of it is a reaction to holding such a fantastic looking kid. But the warmth has instead come from the mile of puke that is now descending down the leg of your freshly laundered Levi's. Ahh...the joys of parenthood.

Warning: Don't hit on his mother. He doesn't like it. Ask Mister Ninja's father what happened when he tried. Those freshly laundered Levis I previously mentioned? Yep...they belong to his father.

You'll never find another Ninja like him.

Sassy's Test

I cannot believe that I am getting ready to send my first baby to PreK. It is scary and exciting at the same time. This morning my husband and I took her for her screening test. She had been inside of a school a few times before with her Mimi (Grandma) but she never got to see the inside of a school for children her age. Man was it overload for her!

When we walked in the room and met Ms. P, she was great. Usually she shies away from strangers but she was ready to go. Ms. P gave her some wooden blocks and asked her to stack them. Done. Ms. P asked her to make a pattern with the blocks. Done. Ms. P gave her a ball and asked what she could do with it. "I can roll it...I can hit it back and forth like this...like I'm playing tennis. I can bounce it. I can throw it through a hoop." My husband and I looked at each other and smiled.

The rest of the test involved playing "Memory", jumping over a tape line, standing on one foot (in Sassy's case, jumping on one foot without being asked) and other developmental questions. She was just awesome.

My husband and I let her play while we talked to Ms. P about what we should expect in the next few weeks and throughout the year. Then it was time to leave.

Oh. Man.

I thought we were going to have to drag her out kicking and screaming. She did not want to go! It wasn't until we told her that she would be there by herself that she was inclined to leave. SHEESH!

Needless to say I have a little person that is ready and raring to start school. Her father and I couldn't be more pleased. : )

I never imagined...

...that I would not only have children as great as mine (yes, I am bragging) and that I'd be able to share their antics with the outside world.

I have a dynamic 3 year old daughter (soon to be 40) and a plush and fluffy 5 month old son who are every bit as fun and frustrating as I would have imagined. I can't wait to see how life changes with them from week to week and from month to month. I'm in for the ride and I'm holding on tight!